Nicki Minaj Had Suicidal Thoughts Early in Her Career

It was not an easy path for Nicki Minaj to become the reigning Queen of Hip Hop. She had to support her mother, fear her unpredictable father, and wrestled with thoughts of suicide.

"I kept having doors slammed in my face. I felt like nothing was working. I had moved out on my own, and here I was thinking I’d have to go home. It was just one dead end after another."

Eventually, the pressure to support her mother financially became to much for her to bear.

“At one point, I was, like, ‘What would happen if I just didn’t wake up?’ That’s how I felt. Like maybe I should just take my life? I would pray to God to make me famous so that I could buy my mother a huge house.

Even though Nicki and her parents have reached a level of understanding amongst themselves now, she says she lived her life in fear due to her fathers unpredictable aggression.

She tells the November issue of Cosmo magazine, "He would beg, cry, stalk us...One time, he pulled my mother out of a car and dragged her for two blocks. After that, I had a phobia about unlocked doors. Anywhere my mother and I were, I made sure the door was locked, because that was my only way to protect her."

Nicki literally climbed her way to superstardom and while some women think it's easier just to sleep their way to the top, Nicki said that she never wanted to consider that "route" into the music industry.

"When you come into the business as a woman, you have to pay a lot of mind games because the men tend to be very aggressive. It’s like chess—you have to protect your goods. Had I just started screwing the guys, it would’ve been over because they never would’ve taken me seriously."

However, Nicki was just rumored to have appeared in a sex tape with Lil Wayne before she was famous...soooo, I don't know she's gonna explain herself out of that one. Maybe they were just dating back then? Naww who am I kidding.

Lil Wayne isn't even Nicki's type, she says she likes dudes with big noses. Hey, she said it.

"I do like a dope nose profile, one that's straight on the side," reveals the rapper, "And I like full lips. I've never kissed someone who didn't have full lips."

Nicki needs to date a basketball player. Those guys just have big everything.