Saturday, June 11, 2011

How To Get Over The Girl

Many girls dump their boyfriends and don’t give any real reason.  They have the urge to purge, and they just suddenly drop their lover without him doing anything wrong to her.  Sometimes they may want to get back together with the one they left in shambles right away, but other times, they move on leaving him to hold the bag.  If you’re the ex boyfriend I’m describing here, and you’re trying to figure out how to get over the girl, then be sure to keep reading.

First of all, you should understand that you are not alone.  Most men fear being dumped by a serious lover much more than being rejected in the early stages of dating.  This is because the bonds men form with the women they are dating are extremely important to them.  In some cases, men see such bonds as more important than the women do despite all of the literature directed toward women about relationships and their enhancement.

To get over the girl, however, you need to stop adoring her.  This is a blunt way of putting it, but it has to be said. Don’t put her up on a pedestal like some kind of Greek Goddess.  She has feet of clay which she exposed by dumping you when you did absolutely nothing wrong!

Let go of the past memories of her.  Sure, they seem great, but the “daydreams” are getting you nowhere. Get rid of the photos and mementos in your home that remind you of her.  Everything! If you have some of her “stuff,” get rid of it, trash it, burn it, or give it back to her. All of it simply must go!

If you have entangled finances, sort them out so that you can move on.  This includes both joint banking accounts and settling any debts you owe one another.

Don’t allow her to occupy the space in your mind that she had when you were together.  She is part of the past, and it’s time that you live in the present and look towards the future. Oh, what a great future it can {and will} be once you truly move forward!

Close out all contact with your ex.  Don’t call her “just to chat” or allow her to continue to email or text you.  Believe it or not, if she continues to hold you barely within arms reach, it is most likely for the satisfaction of her own ego. Instead, tell her that she called it quits, and you want to start a new life without her in it.

This may make her want to pursue you even harder.  Women can be unpredictable and even crazy that way.  They want what they can’t have.  Only if you are open to giving the relationship another chance, and more importantly, she is open to such, can you continue to allow this communication to go on.  But, if you want to start the healing process, she should be a persona non gratis in your life.

Don’t be afraid to express your feelings.  Sometimes writing in a journal or writing music is sufficient.  Other times, you’ll need a shoulder to lean on.  If your situation is severe or you have become overly depressed about the break up, consider getting short term counseling.

Finally, don’t mope around the house.  Get back into the game.  While you may not be ready to start dating again, you should go to the gym, play basketball or football with your buddies, and go to a hang out from time to time{and even church regularly}.  Don’t stick around the house because you are too sad to go out.

If you have the opportunity to go out on a casual date, take advantage of it.  Show the girl a good time, even if you’re not really that in to her.  Think of it as practice, if nothing else. You will be more ready for a real relationship once the time is right for you if you’ve kept up your dating skills.

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