Friday, November 22, 2013

Jennifer Lawrence Pooped Her Pants

By Matt Dekneef
Jennifer Lawrence made light of her recent health on David Letterman last night, retelling a quaint and charming tale of how she’s been sh*tting her pants all month.

The 23-year-old shared the humorous bout of TMI on national television as an explanation for why she had to cancel all her morning appearances promoting the new Hunger Games movie, out this weekend:

“I just had this really bad pain for, like, three weeks. And you know you can only sh*t your pants so many times a day before you go to the emergency room, before you’re like, ‘I need to go to a hospital.’”

“I thought I had an ulcer, but it turns out it was a ‘fulcer.’ I went to the emergency room.”

To treat it, she had to get an endoscopy—“an endoscopo-something, where they put you to sleep,” she said—which had her adorably freaking out. “The last thing I said,” Jennifer remembered, “was ‘I’m paralyzed!’”

But when she awoke, she was back to her old Jennifer Lawrence self, talking about the bizarre dream she had in her sleep and her interest in serious current events: “I dreamed there was a nuclear bomb that went off. And the first lucid conversation I remember having was about the Kardashians.”

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