Saturday, May 7, 2011

Parenting: Dealing with behaviour problems in children

 Causes of behaviour problems in children

Parents always wonder why their children are behaving in a certain way.
The main reason parents fail to understand the behaviour of their children and even call them problem children is that they don't manage to find the real cause behind the behavioral problem.
For example, a parent was complaining about her child's behaviour because the boy used to hit his head hard against the wall when the parent refuses to give in to his demands.

When the parent understood the cause of this behavior problem, which is the child's desire to control the parent using fear, the parent started ignoring the child's attempt to scare her and the child sopped using this method completely.

The moral of this example is to show you that once the cause for a behaviour problem in a child is understood changing the behavior becomes an easy task.
Understanding behavioral problems in children

According to individual psychology, any behaviour that the child does even if it appears really weird is there because it serves a certain important goal for the child.

For example, many parents panic when they discover that their child is stealing from them and i don't blame them but when they find that the main cause behind this behaviour problem was the need for attention and not the ill morals of their child they feel better and even find it easy to help the child stop that behaviour.

Thus the first step towards dealing with behaviour problems in children is to understand the positive intention behind the problematic behaviour.
How to deal with problem children in the school, classroom or at home

When a child displays a behaviour that teachers or parents don't understand they quickly label him a problem child but if they tried to understand the causes behind that behaviour they won't have called that child a problem child.

Problem children, or whatever you want to call them, become this way when they find the route towards reaching an important goal in an acceptable way is blocked.

For example if a child was given enough attention at home but didn't get any of this attention at the classroom then he might become a problem child, Not because he is bad but because he wants the attention he got used to at home.

In short behavioral problems in children are indicators of the presence of important goals that the children are trying to reach.
How to deal with behavioral problems in children and problem children

Now that you became aware of these facts its time for a practical plan than can help you deal with any behavioral problem you find in your children.

1)Understand the intention behind the behaviour: What is your child trying to achieve through this behavior? Is he looking for attention? love? Trying to control you? Once you find the real cause behind the behavioral problem in the child dealing with it will become an easy task

2)Is his behaviour consistent? One powerful way that can help you understand behavioral problems in children is to find out where the problem happens? Does the child become a problem child in school and a calm child at home?? The place in which the problematic behaviour appears is the place in which the child is having problems reaching his important goals

3) Help him reach his goals in a good way: If a problem child became that way at school because he wanted attention then you can easily help him get attention by setting a constructive goal such as being the first or answering the teacher's questions correctly

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